Massively Dysfunctional Morning

It is a morning in 2010.
Last night I dreamed
my cabin was crawling
with insects and when
I woke up the invasion
had already begun.
It is a morning in 2010.
A shrink once called me
Massively Dysfunctional.
I didn't know what
she meant and still don't
but aren't the sounds
and syllables of it lovely?
It is a morning in 2010.
I am receiving your signals,
but can't quite make them out.
It is a morning in 2010.
I am just trying
to breathe out and in.
It is a morning in 2010.
I don't want to know
the stories of your
vital organs or the depth
of your suffering.
We all suffer and healthy
livers are ever rare.
It is a morning in 2010.
Many are called,
but few are chosen
and most of them fail.
It is a morning in 2010.
The memory of her mouth
on my flesh sustains me.
It is a morning in 2010.
Two days of pouring rain
and irritable wind
have made this forest
a roiling angry ocean
where trees crash
around me like breakers.
It is a morning in 2010.
The thought of her naked
beneath that sun dress
is making me even crazier.
It is a morning in 2010.
I am baffled and dismayed
that my children disappeared.
It is a morning in 2010.
I am drinking myself
into productive oblivion.
It is a morning in 2010.
I wonder why it is always easier
to write with a hangover.
I wonder if I will see
a hummingbird today.
I wonder if she will love me
when my words are gone.
I wonder if my ship sank
before it could come in.
I wonder at the deep
wetness of her kisses.
I wonder why I wasn't born
beautiful and rich
and famous and brave.
I wonder if today is the day.
But mostly I wonder
how it ever came to be
this morning in 2010.
  - mce